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I suppose while getting her wine, I never did see him, and he never came out to look for her. He was no where in site. When she realized this, her knees started to buckle, and I wondered if she know about the rumor. I grabbed her right arm for support. It was then that she looked at me as more than a conversationalist. There was a little fire in her eyes, I assumed from anger, never the less, it was still there. She looked at me for a few seconds then proclaimed, ‘ I need to pee. Do you know where the bathroom is?’ I giggled at her and said, ‘Sure.’ We walked down a hallway where the bathroom was. The door was locked. She let me know that waiting wasn’t an option. After opening 3 more doors in that hallway we found a bedroom, unoccupied, with its own bathroom. I walked her through the bedroom to the bathroom, turned on the light for her, and made sure she was in ok. I was going to pardon myself and leave when she said, “Would you mind standing guard till I’m done? This sliding. James said that this was just an audition tape and that we would make others, unless I wanted him to send a copy of what we'd just been doing to Frank. He said they would edit it so James could not be identified and the other man, Harry, would do the commentary. It was straightforward blackmail from there on in. What little feeling James had for me, he lost in his quest for kinkier thrills.I’m sorry to say we went back again and made other films, with both of them having me at the same time and then with another woman involved. The sex was sleazy and degrading, but I could not help recognising that part of me was also turned on by this humiliation. I did not know that about myself, but James had seen it from the beginning and he latched on to it and exploited it. I was cursed for an illicit affair and felt it damned my soul. I even contemplated suicide as a way out, but I was too cowardly to do that. I told myself, how would Frank survive without me? This terrible situation went on.
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